Alivealive.

So much change in a very short amount of time.
I have an uproar of things inside of me that I'm not sure how I should go about explaining, or if I should try to explain them at all.

The op is over, but I think that this is the beginning of a very long road. I'm bored and lonely already, but I am enjoying the short bits of time that I get to spend with my fantastic family when they aren't busy having lives. I'm in a lot of pain, the drugs help some, but moving in any way is enough to make my head spin. While I was just waking up from the surgery, being shot up with morphine and feeling slightly suffocated by my oxygen mask, my doctor hovered over my face, explaining to me that there was a lot more damage in my knee than they had initially suspected. So it looks like a longer recovery, no weight-bearing at all right now. I'm waiting for visitors, I don't want sympathy, I just want people to tell me stories and make me laugh.
They gave me a dvd of the operation, I'm nervous to watch it.
I don't feel like I can eat anything.



Today's my Mom's birthday. My Dad bought her a motorbike. They are both crazy, but it's so beautiful. She told him last spring that riding her own bike was her dream, and my Mom's entire being these past two years has been completely devoted to supporting my Dad's new dreams... now he can say, "Thank you". I can't wait to hear how she reacts.
I've been really overwhelmed this past month with a despair for relationships and marriage, things just seem to fall apart... When I saw the bike I got tears in my eyes; Love can prevail, selflessness is alive.

Everything seems to be living and I am so thankful for our breath.
Beautiful life. Beautiful Freedom.
Krista