Nature/Nurture

I used to claim that I was wholly my father’s daughter. I mean, I guess I look like my mom, but we interact with and interpret the world so differently, I just couldn’t see much of her in me. 

When I was a child, my mom would pray out loud every time she heard a siren in the distance. She would petition for the safety and health of the victims and responders, for peace for their loved ones. I assumed this was because we lived in a small town and it was completely possible that she knew the person the sirens rang for, or at least someone intimately connected to them. Guess that makes sense, I thought, but I didn’t have a prayer reflex. 

I remember waiting for her on an errand run when I was probably ten years old. I watched her walk towards us from a couple of blocks away - my aunt commented on how distinct her walk was: upright, quick with purpose, hips and arms swinging. “You know that it’s her from a mile away.” I was mortified. I wanted to blend in, to melt into crowds- her simple movements were (in my observations) unashamedly obvious and unnecessarily loud. 

Everywhere we went, she would greet each person in the same spirit: “Hello!”, “Good day!” “How are you?” Across the street, in the park, at the market. No discretion or exclusion. Effortlessly cheerful and perpetually engaged. I could barely avert my eyes from the sidewalk.

It is a bit mysterious to me how we absorb traits from our parents, especially ones that seem so opposed to our early instincts. Alas, here I am: over ten years of city life and unable to tune out the sirens. I don't pray, but I do remember my mother's prayers and I silently recognize the weight of human frailty -so, that's probably just as good.

Despite my continued embarrassment, my own (unintentionally) upright and purposeful, hips-and-arms-swinging march is definitely recognizable down the block. And now, as I enthusiastically greet every stranger we meet, my own children trail quietly behind me -embarrassed and confused by my interactions, but walking tall with hips and arms swinging already.